Frostbite
by thegoblinjester
Summary: The long-awaited finale to the Love Bites saga!(yes that is its name now) Finland is sad, Russia is scheming, Characters die, dragons fly, haters hate, gators gate, potatoes potate, Prussia and Canada aren't relevant, I kill people, and mysterious lights float above the Arby's as we all pretend to sleep. SuFin, RusFin, TurkeyxEgypt and other assorted pairings.
1. Drink To Forget

It was a moderately warm day in Hell, but I still had to suppress a shudder when _he_ walked in. I suppose one shouldn't expect too much when one is at the seediest bar in the underworld, but I never expected to see someone like _him_ there.

Ivan Braginski is more devil than vampire. Most of the underworldlings suspect that he may in fact be Satan. He has the cruelty for it, certainly, but he is no Hades. A true Beelzebub would work to punish the sinners he has collected. Ivan works _with_ the sinners. If they have problems, they come to him, and he helps them... for a price. And if you can't pay up, he hurts you. Bad.

Even though I'm pretty high up on the food chain, Ivan scares the living daylights out of me! There's just something about his aura... and you'd think I'd be used to people with scary auras by now!

You might be wondering why I was patronizing the crummiest bar in Hell. Well, people don't care much about their surroundings when they're heartbroken, and that was the only place with liquor strong enough to give me a buzz. If I had known Ivan would walk in, then I would have taken my chances with dwarven ale.

"Privet, Tino!" Ivan exclaimed, sitting down next to me. I grimaced. "It has been too long! How have you been, my friend?"

"N-nothing new." I shrugged. Didn't want Ivan seeing any weaknesses...

"Are you sure? Because a little bird was just telling me that today's the fifth anniversary of your boyfriend- no, _fiance's_ death!"

I almost let my jaw drop. Almost.

"And... and where exactly might one find this 'little bird'?" I asked.

"That is for me to know and for you to be obsessing over until the end of time." Ivan replied with a friendly smile. See, the thing about Ivan's smiles is that they're not like normal smiles which make other people smile. Ivan's smiles are basically omens of doom.

"Uh-huh. What exactly do you w-want?" I asked, trying not to look terrified.

"To offer my condolences, of course!" Ivan replied. I seriously doubted that was why he was talking to me. "May I buy you a drink?"

To refuse Ivan was to sign one's own death warrant.

"Uh... sure." I said.

Ivan put a couple gold coins on the counter and the harpy barmaid hopped over to get our drinks.

"A lot has been going on up in the surface world..." Ivan remarked. "Lots of deaths, involving both non-magical and magical people..."

"So...?"

"So you must be worried for your friends, da?" the Russian man asked. "Especially that Icelandic human boy, since he is pretty much defenseless."

"He's got the protection of both Lukas Bondevik and Yao Wang." I said, shrugging and wondering where Ivan was going with this. "I think he'll be fine."

I could almost see the fiery gears shifting in Ivan's head. He was about to change tactics.

"That is quite the ring, da?" he remarked.

I glanced down at the beautiful, sky-blue gem set in the golden band on my finger.

"Mm-hmm." I said, smiling slightly.

"You miss him?"

"Yes..." I said warily. "Of course I do."

Ivan took a sip of his liquor. I hadn't touched mine.

"What if I told you that I could bring him back?" Ivan asked quietly.

"I'd say that there must be some horrible catch." I scoffed. "Have you found some way to make dead people into zombies? Or maybe created your own resurrection stone that only brings back faint ghosts of people?"

"There is no catch, Tino. He will simply be brought back to life as he was; a living, breathing human. Same body, same memories, same soul."

I blinked. Bringing people back to life went against practically every immortal law ever and was rarely successful in the long term, so I was surprised that even Ivan Braginski would attempt something like that.

"You will be able to talk to him like you always have, and he will be able to live a healthy, mortal life... in fact, I might be so kind as to grant immortality upon him." Ivan continued. "There is no catch, Tino. This is a genuine offer with your best interests at hand."

"And how do you expect to accomplish such a task?" I asked.

"I have connections." Ivan said.

"I'm sure the price will be steep..." I remarked.

"Only two minor things." Ivan assured me. "First, I will need that ring. I will use it at a link between his body and his spirit."

"And secondly?"

Ivan's smile grew a fraction of an inch wider.

"I will only do this if you'll marry me."

* * *

**No one entered my contest.**

**I guess I'll make some cover art later, then.**

***bitterly disappointed in all of you***

***ok not really but still***

***I will do horrible things to your favorite characters***

***I might even kill Gilbird again***

***Or Iceland***


	2. Dunces And Dragons

"No, moron. Dragons aren't horses. That's only for you to hold on to so that you don't die." Lukas instructed from behind me. "Guide her with your mind."

"She seems to have other ideas!" I told him. "She keeps telling me that she wants to set things on fire!"

"Tell her that's wrong." Lukas replied calmly. "She needs to learn now, or else she'll always think that pyromania is alright."

I reached out mentally to Stormageddon.

_No fires, alright? Why don't we pull out of this dive and circle a bit?_ I asked.

_But that's no fun!_ the dragon replied haughtily. _Don't you want to show your boyfriend a good time?_

_Well, yeah, but he doesn't want you setting things on fire, either. Also, it would be nice if you didn't get us killed._ I reminded her, watching the ground get closer and closer.

_I won't get you killed._ she assured me.

_Level out now!_ I thought harshly.

Surprisingly, she pulled out of her rapid descent and began slowly climbing.

Lukas rested his chin on my shoulder and shifted his weight slightly as I tried to remember how to breathe.

"What took you so long?" he asked.

"She's so stubborn!" I said defensively. "I don't get why she listens to _you!_"

"As a potent source of raw magic, she has a greater respect for me." Lukas replied. "You're more like the irritating older sibling."

"The two of you will be the death of me!" I laughed.

After a few more near-death experiences, we landed next to the large cabin where we were staying. Oh, did I mention? Since Stormy was getting a bit too large to hide away in London, Lukas pulled some strings with an airline and we flew to Canada. Emil and, for some reason, his boyfriend came along too.

Lukas set up some basic muggle-repellant spells to make sure we wouldn't get spotted flying a dragon around, and made a deal with a nearby slaughter house to get meat for Stormageddon.

Emil and Jia-Long were pretty much useless, but Stormy liked them so they were allowed to hang around.

_Pineapple-head! My superior senses detect something over yonder!_ Stormy told me.

_My name is Mathias._ I replied.

_Sure, whatever. Can I check it out? It doesn't smell human!_

I checked with Lukas, who shrugged and nodded.

_Alright, you crazy lizard. It had better not be another stupid rabbit, though!_

_Hey,_ interjected Lukas, _I like rabbits._

_Let's capture it, then, and have a pet!_ Stormy replied, building up speed.

Why did _I_ have to be the voice of reason? Seriously, it didn't make sense!

_Let's do this._ I thought.

Stormageddon loved being able to fly and hunt wherever she wanted. Usually, she just ended up scaring off the local wildlife, but occasionally she'd manage to catch a slow-moving deer or an unaware puma.

She brought us soaring up into the sky before darting into the forest, landing lightly on the ground and sneaking towards a clearing.

We were surprised to find that the clearing was actually a smoking crater.

_It smells funny._

_Yeah, I'd imagine so._

"There's too much magic in the air for this to be a mere asteroid or UFO." Lukas said. "Let's check it out."

We slid off of Stormy's back and edged further into the site of destruction.

The crater was about a school bus's length in diameter and still on fire in places. It was fairly deep and it looked like a large portion of the forest had been utterly demolished.

In the center was a person.

An unconscious person of ambiguous gender.

Wearing a slightly-tacky devil costume.

"Well, that was not what I was expecting." I said.

"And what _were_ you expecting?" Lukas asked.

"Something... you know, _cool._" I said. "That's not a human, right?"

"Duuuh." Lukas rolled his eyes. "Look, he's breathing. Would a human be breathing after an impact that caused a crater like this? I think not."

"So... do we make sure he's OK, or do we kill him?" I asked.

_Can I eat him?_

I pushed Stormy's head away.

Lukas was already beside the person, checking for vitals and doing magical sorcery stuff.

"He's a lower-ranking demon. He should be just fine." the Norwegian said calmly. "I can't say anything about those pants, though. They look expensive."

"Damn right." the person muttered, sitting up and rubbing his head. "Whoa, a dragon? That's, like, totally bad ass." he turned to me. "Are you her rider? I totally dig that. Riders are, like, the ultimate sexy."

"Touch him and you're dead." Lukas said coolly.

"Take a chill pill, hon. I've got my eyes elsewhere." the demon said, tossing his blond hair. He was dressed entirely in red; velvet pants and a sleeveless shirt with a ruff at the collar.

_Can I eat him now?_

"Shh." I said to Stormageddon, letting Lukas deal with this newcomer.

"What are you doing here?"

"Sitting in a smoking crater, talking to a bean pole." the demon said, before suddenly averting his gaze and hugging his knees. "Crap crap crap," he muttered quietly, "I'm always terrible at first impressions. Why must I be terrible at first impressions? It goes against my entire set of magical abilities!"

"Er..."

"Don't worry, man!" I said. "We're used to odd types. Why, I'm probably the normalest person I know, and that's saying something!"

"'Normalest' isn't a word." Lukas told me.

"Shut up, it totally is." the demon said.

"Looks like you're outvoted, sweetie." I told Lukas consolingly, patting his back. "Maybe next time."

"So what's your name?" Lukas asked the demon, ignoring me.

"I'm Feliks." the demon sniffed. "An underfoot demon who's hated by the fates."

"I'm Lukas, an extremely powerful sorcerer." he then gestured to Stormy. "That's Stormageddon, and the moron standing next to her is Mathias."

"Hi!" I said.

"What are you doing here?" Lukas asked.

"It's... kind of an embarrassing story." the demon said, scratching the back of his head. "See... there's this angel, whom I kinda, like, have a little crush on..."

"You were stalking him?" Lukas guesses.

"What? No! Well, like, not _really..._ and who said it was a guy?"

"Is it a girl?"

"... no."

"... go on."

"Anyway, I, like, sneaked up into heaven to, like, _hang out_ with him, but I got caught by this foul-mouthed Italian angel and he kicked me out. Literally."

"Why does that sound familiar?" I pondered.

Feliks shrugged.

"Beats the heck outta me. And it's not like Toris even _cares_ about what I go through for him! I'm just a silly pest from, like, earth's basement! I'm _nothing_ to even the lowest of angels!" Feliks says angrily. "Do I ever get a thank you for my efforts to keep our friendship together? No! He just goes on and on about some girl he likes and he won't even tell me her name and doesn't he _trust me?_"

Lukas raised an eyebrow.

"Looks like _someone's_ feeling a bit cranky. Did you miss your nap time?" he asked coldly.

"Lukas! Don't be so harsh!" I reprimanded him before turning to Feliks. "Listen, I'm sure this guy trusts you. He's just being a lovesick idiot right now, and you'll need to make sure he doesn't get carried away. You know, I used to sometimes almost think that Lukas didn't care about me as much as I would have liked him to, but then it turned out that he just didn't want to watch me die slowly so... yeah. I kinda forgot where I was going with that."

Feliks smiled tearfully up at me.

"Thanks. I, like, dunno what came over me there." he got to his feet. "I should probably get going..."

"Good luck!" I said.

"Thanks. I'll need it." he replied. With that, he disappeared into the ground.

* * *

**I like Poland**


	3. Flashback

I had ducked into the hotel to acquire a map, as I was hopelessly lost. It was an annoying trait of mine, knowing I'd get lost but not getting a map beforehand. I was known by my friends as being "slightly air-headed", by my enemies as "totally stupid" and by the girls as "cute, but absent-minded."

Whatever the case was, it was a real problem.

"Oh man, I'm practically on the other side of the city." I sighed. "Lukas is going to _kill_ me."

If worst came to worst, I could have always used the blizzard as an excuse, but I doubt the Norwegian would have believed that, since I _am_ an extraordinarily powerful frost demon and such.

I leaned back in the cozy armchair, debating over what to do. Eventually, a conversation caught my ear.

"I'm sorry, sir, but there currently aren't any vacancies." the posh concierge said.

"Yer sure?" a deep voice asked.

"Positive, sir. It always gets like this around Christmastime, and this blizzard hasn't helped."

I sat up slightly, trying to get a glimpse at the hapless individual who was being denied a room.

"I've tried evr'ywhere. Isn't th're 'nyone who's due t' check out t'day?"

"It doesn't look like it. For future reference, I'd recommend making reservations beforehand. Again, my sincere apologies."

The man with the deep voice was quite tall, and possibly very strong, too. I could only see the back of his head, but his hair was a white-blond color that wasn't exactly common. His accent spoke of Scandinavia, as well did the Swedish flag tag on his duffel bag.

"Thanks 'nyway." the Swede sighed, picking up his luggage and turning to leave.

Wait a minute.

Someone trying to find a place to stay, but getting turned away at every inn? At Christmastime?

_It must be a sign._

I got up, silently willing for the blizzard to die down a bit, and made my way over to the traveler.

"Er, sorry you couldn't get a room. Crowds are always a bother, especially during the holidays!"

He looked at me with what might have been a slightly perplexed expression. (His eyes were beautiful.)  
"Not that I can blame them, though." I continued. "Christmas is wonderful. Candy canes and magic and presents and hot chocolate and snow... Where was I? Oh yes, I was wondering if you'd like to join me for a cup of coffee from that cafe two doors down! My treat!"

"... 'lright."

"Hm? Oh, splendid! See, you seemed a little defeated there and I thought you could do with a good cup of Joe(that's a funny expression, I wonder where it came from?) as, like, consolation, even though it's not a hotel room. There's really nothing I can do about that. But that cafe makes _excellent_ bear claws so- oh god I'm rambling. Sorry."

We were already halfway to the cafe.

"Nn. It's fine." he told me.

"Really? I'm always told that I talk to much. By the way, what's your name? I'm Tino."

"Berwald."

Berwald. I liked that. It sounded strong and smart, unlike my name, which was one "a" away from downright girly.

Once we sat down with our caffeine fix, I resumed talking.

"If you don't mind me asking, what brings you here?" I asked. "Why do you need a room on such short notice? It sounds like bad planning to me, but what do I know! I'm terrible at planning, anyway."

"It's m' cousin's fault." Berwald said. "'nvited me over fer Christmas, 'nd then informed me that I'd have t' room elsewhere."

"Well that's not very nice!" I said. "I mean, _wow._ And here I thought _Lukas_ was a bit of a jerk at times!"

"Lukas?"

"My best friend, sorta. He's super mysterious and weird, but nice enough once you get to know him." I explained. "You'll never find a more devoted big brother in all the universe, though."

"I'll take yer word for it." Berwald said.

"Did your cousin say _why_ you couldn't stay at his place?" I asked.

"Don't know, but I bet it's 'cause he got kicked out of his apartment." Berwald said. "Wouldn't put it past him."

"I'm very sorry to hear that." I said sympathetically. "I'd offer you a place to stay, but we don't really know each other yet, and..."

"Th't's alright." Berwald said. "I'll f'gure someth'ng out."

And then something awesome happened.

"Dancing Queen" by Abba began emanating from Berwald's pocket.

The Swede blushed and scrambled to answer his phone as I tried not to burst into a fit of hysterical giggles.

"Yeah?" Berwald said to the person on the other line. It was obviously someone whom he did not hold in very high esteem. "No. I didn't th'nk so. _What?_ Y' didn't say- oh. 'f course y' are. I'll be ov'r as s'n as possible."

He hung up, getting to his feet.

"Sorry. I h've t' go. My cousin's snowed in." he said regretfully. "It sounds bad."

"Oh my!" I exclaimed, knowing that the snow had stopped and the winds had died down. "Don't let me keep you! Though it was very nice hanging out with you."

"Thanks f'r th' coffee." Berwald said, pulling his jacket on.

As we exited the cafe together, Berwald stopped under the awning in shock.

"It's... sunny." he mumbled. "Th' snow's melting."

I smiled.

"Isn't that lucky? Now you don't have to wait for them to plow the streets! Ah, there's a cab now! Good luck with your cousin, Berwald! I hope we can meet again someday!"

Berwald looked conflicted for a moment before pulling out a notebook, scribbling something down, tearing off a page and then handing it to me.

"M' phone number." he said, getting in the cab.

"Oh." I said, eyes wide. That had never happened to me before. "Oh! Thanks! I'll make sure to text you later!"

"Th'nks. Bye."

"Goodbye!"

I waved as the cab pulled away and out of sight. Carefully, I folded up the piece of paper and tucked it into my shirt pocket. I promised myself not to accidentally let it go through the wash.

* * *

**Happy Halloween! I guess this is how Sweden and Finland met? KINDA cliche but WHATEVER BTCHES**


	4. Nobody Dies In This Chapter

"Are you alright, Tino ~aruka?"

I sat up, realizing that I had been hunched over my food.

"Oh, yes! I'm fine! It's just... I get a little melancholic around this time of the year." I assured him.

Yao raised an eyebrow.

"I understand. If you need to talk about it, I am here ~aru."

"No, it's OK." I said.

Ever since Lukas and Mathias had gone to Canada, I had been spending more time with Yao and Arthur. Yao never allowed either of us to cook, so he often made dinner. Truth to be told, I was beginning to feel like a bit of a third wheel...

I was knocked out of my thoughtful stupor as Arthur's teacup fell to the ground and shattered.

"Aaiyah! What the hell, Arthur ~ahen?" Yao exclaimed, rushing to fetch some paper towels and a dustpan for the ceramic bits.

"Shh!" Arthur said to him. The Brit was on his cell phone. "Oh no... yes, I can hear that. How did it happen? ... Well, I wasn't that close to him, but that's... yes, I understand. My condolences to him and Antonio."

He hung up.

"That was Ludwig on the phone. Lovino has been killed."

"Feliciano's brother?" Yao asked.

Arthur nodded.

"Oh dear! How awful..." Yao said. "What happened ~aruka?"

"Evidence suggests that he was killed by a demon."

"But wasn't he an angel?" I asked. "The few demons that are powerful enough to kill angels don't usually bother to!"

"That's the weird thing." Arthur said. "And they can't figure out the exact cause of death, either. Apparently, an angelic death also occurred about three weeks ago under the same circumstances. Oh, if only Lukas was here, then we could reopen M.A.G.I.C or whatever our acronym was and solve this crime..."

"Yeah... wasn't he our leader?" Yao asked.

"Poor Antonio..." I sighed, not having listened much to their musings. "I mean, I didn't know either of them at all, but he sounds like was so devoted to Lovino..."

"He certainly was." Arthur said with a grim nod.

"I imagine Feliciano's upset, too ~aru..." Yao interjected.

"I could barely hear Ludwig because of Feli's bawling." Arthur replied. "I have to admit I'm rather shocked too. Angels don't just get murdered like that..."

"Someone should poke around the demon world and see if they can find any suspicious happenings..." I said.

Arthur and Yao both looked at me.

"What?" I said. "Wait, you want _me_ to do the sleuthing?"

"Well, you are the only demon we know and like..." Arthur said.

"But why can't _you_ do it?" I asked. "Vampires are allowed down there too!"

"It'll seem less intrusive if it's a demon." Arthur rationalized. "Besides, I'll be doing my investigating up here."

"And I will have to keep your sorry ass safe ~ahen." Yao said.

"But I'm no detective!" I complained. "Sometimes I forget what shirt I'm wearing!"

"Everyone does that, Tino." Arthur said patiently. "Speaking of forgetting things, however, I notice you are not wearing your engagement ring...?"

"Oh!" I said. "Oh, that... well, I almost scuffed it on some concrete the other day so I'm storing it for safekeeping."

"I see." Arthur said in his best detective voice.

I laughed nervously.

As if I would be that careless.


End file.
